Spring Equinox Tarot Spread: What Fresh Hell Awaits?
A Themed Spread to Navigate the Seasonal Shift with Humour & Insight
Welcome to the Equinox – Balance? Never Heard of It.
The Spring Equinox is here, that magical time of year when the day and night are technically equal, nature is in full bloom, and we’re all supposed to feel refreshed, renewed ,and perfectly balanced. Except… let’s be real. We’re shaking off the remnants of winter sloth mode, allergies are attacking, and Aries season is kicking in like an espresso shot to the soul. Change is coming – whether we’re ready or not.
So, what fresh hell awaits? That’s where this tarot spread comes in. Think of it as your cosmic heads-up: a little guidance, a little insight, and a whole lot of sarcastic reassurance that whatever seasonal chaos is about to hit, you’re not alone.
The “What Fresh Hell Awaits?” Equinox Tarot Spread
(5-card spread designed to give equal parts wisdom and comedic reality check)
- What am I shedding from winter?
- aka What baggage am I finally letting go of – or at least should try to?
- What’s blooming in my life?
- Something new that is sprouting, whether I like it or not.
- What’s going to test my patience?
- The inevitable struggle – but let’s face it, it doesn’t take much!
- How can I embrace the chaos?
- A strategy to roll with seasonal shifts instead of fighting them.
- What unexpected gift will this season bring?
- Because sometimes, the universe actually throws a bone.
Interpreting the Spread
Let’s talk about how to actually read these cards without spiraling into an existential crisis.
- What Am I Shedding From Winter?
8 of Swords
Self-doubt and limiting beliefs… or at least, that’s the goal. Stop overthinking and cut yourself some slack.
2. What blooming in my life?
The Fool
A new adventure! Or possibly an ill-advised impulse decision. Either way, it’s happening.
3. What is going to test my patience?
Oh Geez. The Tower.
Looks like we’re in for a fun little breakdown before the breakthrough. Elbows up.
4. How can I embrace the chaos?
The Wheel of Fortune
Let go and ride the wave! Change is inevitable, so you might as well spin the wheel and see where it lands.
5. What unexpected gift will this season bring?
(fingers crossed)
The Empress
Oh, thank goodness. Creativity, abundance, and maybe a really good hair day. Spring glow-up, here we come!
How to Use This Spread Without Spiraling
A few reminders for keeping it light and fun:
- Tarot is a tool for guidance, not a cosmic decree of doom. If The Devil shows up, it doesn’t mean disaster – it probably just means you need to reassess that toxic habit of scrolling social media at 2 AM.
- Approach your reading with the curiosity and humour. Even the bad cards have lessons (and usually a funny angle if you squint hard enough)
- If you pull something truly ominous, just blame Mercury retrograde. Even if it’s not happening.
Spring is Here – Ready or Not!
So, are we stepping into a season of renewal, or a season of chaos? The cards will let you know (and probably roast you in the process). Try the spread and see what fresh hell – or delightful surprise – the equinox has in store.
Let me know in the comments: What’s the wildest or most on-brand tarot card you pulled for this spread? Let’s see who’s in for the biggest ride this season!
đź–¤ Everlie
